Monday, February 13, 2012

Guest Blogger, Author, Mark Levine, Musings on Valentine's Day

I was so excited when author, Mark Levine, accepted my invitation to guest blog on the Butterfly Phoenix blog this week.

Mark is married, and lives with his wife in Romeoville, IL, where he is a teacher and an author. Mark regularly blogs on Levine Writes


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Valentine’s Day is upon us, and as with many “Hallmark created” holidays, we head to the store to buy what we are expected to, in order to satisfy the social pressures that we have learned to love in a mindless Lemming manner.  

I am one of those guys that actually have followed such a tradition of getting the “required” props for each given created holiday, so that no feelings are hurt and nobody feels left out.  Yes, I at times, have been amongst the crowds of guys in the lines at grocery stores, convenience stores, and even gas stations, early in the day on February 14th.    I have witnessed the shame on the faces of these men, who refuse to make eye contact so they do not have to admit to themselves that they have made it to this level of shame.  I am not sure if it is part of the guy code to collectively respect the other men by refusing to put another guy through the embarrassment, or if it is just an accepted line-of-shame decree passed down in the male DNA.  Either way, this sad phenomenon exists and I am pretty sure all women know it lurks in the shadows of the day. 
So where does this painful dance originate?  It appears that over 3,000 years ago, some guy, named Valentine, believed in love.  He believed so much, that he risked his life for love.  He agreed to marry young male soldiers to their loves, even though it was considered illegal at the time.  He risked his life in the name of love.  As he was sentenced to death, he was introduced to a young beautiful blind girl of significance.  It was understood that he was a healer of sorts and he might be able to heal the girl.  With no promise of freedom or pardon for his crime, he healed the girl.  He was executed and left the girl, who had become his closest friend, a loving note.  The note was signed, “from your Valentine.”

Now for the open and honest part, I am a man of passion and love.  I enjoy doing special things for the love of my life.  I look forward to being the romantic and caring one.  Yes, I am one of those sensitive guys.  I don’t really desire to be current on the latest trend of gift giving, or for that matter, follow the tradition of candy and flowers.  I would much rather give a hunk of wood that was found on a walk we took several years ago.  I might attach a note of a memory I cherish from that particular walk, and how the memory has enhanced my love for her.  As far as I am concerned, celebrating a tradition that we assert is a holiday does not have to follow every norm set forth for us.  It is more than the thought …it is the heart that counts. 

I am a teacher, an author, a person who values humor and honesty.  I am a guy with high expectations for self and for others around me.  Like everyone else…I seek acceptance and love.  On this Valentine’s Day, or week…I hope you all find what matters to you in your own way.  Whether it is tradition, or non-compliance; flowers, or a hunk of wood, outward or inward love…I hope you find what the day means for you. 

Peace.  Mark.
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Thank you, Mark for taking the time (on short notice) to fill in for me today! To my readers: take a moment to visit Levine Writes and learn more about the fascinating author, Mark Levine. Have a great week everyone!

32 comments:

  1. You know many of the women I know would prefer the piece of wood with the note and the memory more than the generic flowers/chocolate and a generic card.

    Great post. As always Mark you make me think.

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    1. Tasha, I am glad you called the card generic. Isn't it strange that MOST give more credibility to a $5 card than something that is handmade and from the heart? I, of course, would not expect that from you. I am glad I make you think. I appreciate your ongoing support. Thanks for being in the world in which I breathe and experience. Peace. Mark

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    2. Tasha, I really enjoy receiving the out of the ordinary expressions of love too. It shows the man really knows his woman, rather than the generic, here you go, I've done my duty. :-)

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  2. Many of the women I know, including myself, would prefer to receive the piece of wood and note too. Thanks so much, Mark!

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    1. Donna, I am more than honored to have written this for your blog. Only someone who would rather the simple token could be as talented and wonderful as you are. Enjoy your week! I hope all is well. Peace. Mark

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  3. Mark I am one of those women who doesn't care for flowers (unless I can plant them) or candy (I don't need the extra calories ROFL) however I am a pure romantic I would much rather go for a walk on the beach, see the sunset and wish upon a star with my lover than get flowers or candy. However as much as I don't like Valentine's Day it is nice to be remembered...but not with flowers and candy, I don't expect much really just reassurance that my lover, remembers why we fell in love...in his own special way :) I for one would be thrilled with the piece of wood with a note.

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    1. Rebbekah, I think it it the soul of a writer or an artist that would prefer the meaningful over the commercial or superficial. When we think with our obligations and just go through the motions, we tend to live an empty life with an empty soul searching for something that we never seem to find. If we think with our hearts (and the heart of an artist), we tend to seek meaning in even the most simple elements of life. I appreciate you. Peace. Mark

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    2. Mark you are so right on this aspect! I would rather have something that makes my soul shine than a card...but again I am one of those rare people...I tend to look at everything in life as art...anything can be art, you just have to have an open heart and soul to see it...

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    3. Rebbekah, only a true romantic would have added 'and wish upon a star' to their sentiment of love. That was really beautiful.

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  4. I am one of those lucky girls to have a sappy husband - he may follow the unwritten rule about cards, flowers, candy, and jewelry but everyday he tells me how much he loves me and doesn't know what he would do without me. It is so nice to see another man not afraid to express their sappy side- Mark you rock and I am glad I know you.

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    1. Lisa, thanks so much for the kind words and coming to check out my post. That means a lot to me. I think if a man is real with himself...he would rather be sappy as well! Have a great Valentine's Week! Mark

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    2. As a mother, I am counting myself lucky that my two oldest daughters have found sappy men who are not afraid to express their love. Those men are not easy to find our modern world.

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  5. Even in those earliest days of valentines day cards in grade school, I was always stunned when someone gave one to me. Never having romantic people in my life, valentines day has always been just another day, though a romantic one. I envy your wife in this small thing.

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    1. Anna, you are a wonderful person that deserves the constant of love in your life. I am sure if you look around and allow yourself to see/feel it, there are those that appreciate you in their own "romantic" ways. Please don't envy my wife for this post...she has to put up with me which is a daily experience in patience which I am sure is her way of showing me that every day is Valentine's Day for me. I am so glad that I get to have you in my circle of blogs, sites, and friends. You are a Great soul. Peace. Mark

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  6. Mark, you nailed this one !! Why shouldn't we show our better half
    how much we appreciate them for making us better
    people !! I celebrate her everyday !!

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    1. Thanks Anon! I agree. Without those that we love and make us who we are, if you are like me...you are nothing. Celebrate everyday as it is the day of love that Valentine's Day was intended to be! On Valentine, you both can sit back and appreciate that you have the feelings of the day...everyday! Peace. Mark

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  7. Hi Donna and Mark!! *Looks around for Mark and gives him an extra hug*
    Valentines Day has never been my fav. holiday even when I had a bf! We did nothin but maybe buy each other a small gift, that was it. It's to commercial you shouldnt have to wait till Feb. 14th to buy your love flowers or chocolates!

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    1. I agree. I am sorry you do not have someone to share the feelings of the day with. I could understand how the day might negative feelings...even if you were with someone. Maybe they were never the right someone. I am sure you deserve someone who takes care of you for who you are. Maybe buy yourself something nice tomorrow...and celebrate you? Peace. Mark

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    2. Hi Sian, I agree. I think we all want that certain someone who will grow in love with us everyday, not just the holidays throughout the year.

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  8. Mark,

    Thanks for a thought provoking article. Thank you for passing over the commercial aspect of this holiday and embracing love. The world is better because of people like you.

    Kim

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    1. Kim, so nice of you to say. Thanks for thinking with me. I am sure I am nothing special...but I think (for me at least) I carry the true meaning of relationship and connection in my words. A gift, no matter what the occasion, is just materials...unless it comes from the meaningful heart. Thanks so much for your support! Peace. Mark

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  9. I agree with Tasha Mark. Most woman would prefer something sweet, thoughtful and sentimental versus a Hallmark forced gift! Great guest post :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting and reading Melissa! I feel honored. What I am hearing here is that many share my vision of what is important. I have known many pretentious men and women who are more interested in the WHATs of life. They are always striving to get things and to gain gifts that mean nothing in the scope of life. I imagine empty hearts. Constant longing for more and more. Very sad. Take away everything we own...and we are left to enjoy or hate ourselves. I would much rather appreciating me than appreciating a heart shaped box of candy. Enjoy your week Melissa. Peace. Mark

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  10. Nicely done, Mark. I just left the box of chocolate covered strawberries downstairs for Jacquie to find in the morning. I may have to lock up the cat overnight though.
    Good column, I enjoyed reading it!

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    1. Thanks so much Martin. That compliment means a lot coming from you. Enjoy your day. Hope the strawberries are a hit...as I am sure they will be. Peace. Mark

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  12. Thanks for posting Mark. Following your blog. Please follow mine and read my blog post on Valentine's Day...return the favor. http://caroleditosti-thefatandtheskinny.blogspot.com/2012/02/refreshing-your-perspective-about.html There is also a Giveaway $2500 on the bottom of the pg.

    Happy Valentine's Day.
    Ciao,
    Carole

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    1. Thanks Carole. I will look for your blog and follow. Enjoy your day! Peace. Mark

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  13. Mark, I have always appreciated straight forward honesty and sometimes I believe that is lost with Hallmark Holidays. So if Valentine's Day makes you feel special than celebrate it. I try to take everyday and make sure the ones I love know they make me happy. Today happens to be one of my 6 children's birthday and we are so happy he is alive we celebrate love for that reason. He was born 9 years ago with a heart condition, so for us Valentine's day is about celebrating love and life with the people, or person, who makes you feel good. Don't buy stuff because of obligation, especially if it makes you feel bad. Giving someone a gift or a token of your appreciation, for how they make you feel could happen anyday. The best gift we can give each other is honesty. Being honest about how this day makes you feel and however you celebrate love should be personal. After all it's the day to day things that make us who we are and allow us to love in the first place. Happy Valentine's Day to all and may your love continue to grow as you celebrate life.

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    1. Anon, happy birthday to your son!

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    2. Anon, It is obvious you are filled with the best kind of love...the real stuff. Thanks so much for sharing your life's window. Thanks also, for sharing the hope within your words. Yes...Celebrate life and all that it has to offer. Never take the moments for granted...and enjoy the breath. Peace. Mark

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  14. Great article. I totally agree, there are too many commercial holidays about now. Most (I for one) don't truely now the origins of alot of them. You have inspired me to do more research into them all.

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