In light of the fact Father's Day in America is coming up on
June 21st, I had to ask myself, "Where are the fathers in America? Now
most people who read this post will shrug it off as a non-issue. However, we see it all the time, young men who
strut their swagger in the clubs, in the workplace, on the street, wherever they
happen to be. Young men who violate every tenant of the meaning of Manhood.
It seems that some young men today have confused Manhood,
with their manhood. If you don't know what that means, you probably aren't old
enough to be reading this article.
We have created a society where the idea that children
without fathers is OK. IT'S NOT OK! Children without fathers are more likely to
live in poverty. 39.6% are considered poor, while 51.9% live in extreme
poverty. Those who live in extreme poverty live on a family budget of approximately
$200 a week. That $200 a week must cover everything from housing to daycare to
food. Forget about clothing or extra-curricular activities or birthday parties,
or anything beyond survival. (source: thesinglemotherguide.com)
Responsible fatherhood must become a mainstream ideal of our
society. Men, you have a duty and an obligation to the boys of the nation. YOU need
to step up your game and start teaching responsible fatherhood to your sons,
nephews, students, and boys in your community. Girls and women are only half of
the equation. They are not solely responsible when a baby is created.
The father's absence in a boy's life causes them to feel
ashamed of who they are. That void lives with them their entire lives - even if
another man steps into the father's place. The voice in the back of their head
says, "I'm inadequate. I'm not worthy. I'm unwanted. I'm unloved."
Boys crave the love and approval of their father.
I've heard every
excuse in the book:
- She got pregnant on purpose to hold on to me. - You knew what kind of woman she was when you got with her in the first place. Not an excuse.
- I had to leave. That [insert explicative here] was crazy. - You knew what kind of woman she was when you got with her in the first place. Not an excuse.
- It was just a one-night stand. It didn't mean anything. - You knew what kind of woman she was when you got with her in the first place. Not an excuse.
- Hey, she came onto me. - You knew what kind of woman she was when you got with her in the first place. Not an excuse.
Note: You can switch the gender roles in these excuses and it's still true.
- I had to leave, we didn't love each other. - You knew what kind of woman she was when you got with her in the first place. Not an excuse.
In a perfect world, none of the above would happen, but as
it is, human beings are fallible creatures and we all make decisions that
result in unintended consequences. Unfortunately, it is the children who are
suffering. Not one of the
situations above is a reason to abandon your child. This isn't about the woman,
it's about the child.You don't have to live them to be a part of their lives.
Judge Lynn Toler of Divorce Court said it best in a case in
which the video has gone viral on the internet. The virility of the video in
itself says a lot about the current state of the definition of manhood. Watch
it here:
Millions of Americans are in agreement with Judge Toler.
Just because you can make children, does not make you a man. You must be emotionally intelligent,
financially secure, able to love and receive love, and most of all respect
yourself and women. The children you create are depending on this. Step up your
game and live manhood.
