Letting Go - Becoming an Empty-Nester

We spend a minimum of eighteen years as parents, feathering our nests, taking care of the children, and running a hundred miles a minute, all to ensure that our children are well taken care of and their every need is met – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

As summer comes to a close, many parents are posting pictures of the iconic moment in their lives - the moment they become empty-nesters. The proud, smiling faces in the pictures hide the heart-wrenching actualization that this chapter of life is also coming to a close.

There is no sound in the world more surreal than the final closing of the door. We find ourselves in an empty house or apartment that seems so much bigger than it once was. The only sounds being those we make ourselves.

The vast emptiness of the home expands into the abstract of life. The questions start to form in the depths of the night.

•          What do I do now?
•          How will I fill my day?
•          What is important?
•          Do I still have a purpose?
•          What is my purpose?

Our lives don’t end when our children leave home. You would think we would know that as our parents survived our own departures. Yet, we struggle. It would be more concerning if a person didn’t struggle with the change.

The truth is that becoming an empty-nester requires that we allow ourselves the time to grieve the loss of our parenting role in their lives. Once they become adults, we have to let them live, grow, and master adulthood – without our interference. As much as the Mommy and Daddy in us wants to be there to hold the safety net, and smooth the rocky road for them, our children will experience failure, no matter how much we don’t want them to. We have to take on the role of the advisor or mentor, anything less is a disservice to their overall well-being and ability to handle life as it is.

Looking forward into all the possibilities can be energizing and exciting. The future is a canvas waiting to be painted, a story yet to be written, an experience yet to be had. The attitude in which we approach the future is the key to the unveiling of ourselves.

I have been an empty-nester for six years. It’s been an exhilarating time in my life.  At first, I wasn’t sure of my path or direction. I assure you, no matter what stage of empty-nesting you are in, that it will get easier with time. You will find an entirely new and different relationship with your child(ren). It will be the time when you find that your adult child is now one of your oldest, closest, and dearest friends.

Simply Saturday: Seanmhathair

Seanmháthair has always frightened me. She is the fiercest woman I have ever come to know. She rules the clan in such a way there is none to neither deny her decisions nor question her authority. I have never understood how it is that a woman so stern and deeply steeped in her convictions could ever know what it is to love another.  Annalicia and I are no exceptions to the rule. Our lives have come to naught but groveling for a crumb of affection, and resignation to the constant reminders of our lowly state in the manor.

Seanmháthair’s power and authority comes not from sorcery or magic, it comes at the end of her tongue. Oh that sharp instrument of precision that cuts so deeply into the soul. I know not which frightens me more the weapon Seanmháthair wields, or the instruments of the men of science. It matters no more. One way or another, I shall take my leave of this place, this hideous place of discord and deceit. I shall return for Annalicia and we shall live happily ever after…far away from the instruments of destruction.

 

If Mhathair would only plead for me to be released from the family obligations, I know I shall be granted my only wish and desire in this world. I shall find my name on the enrollment rosters of the great College of Alnae and begin my quest there. It is surely by the will of He Who Created All Things that this desire burns within my soul. It could be naught else. If Seanmháthair is to deny me, then she shall deny him as well and the risk be the same. Mhathair must make her understand. She must let me go.

 

The stars shine in the heavens as if to say, “come hither and see”, yet they are so far away; so very far away. I long for the lands of which Annalicia tells her tales in the Butterfly Fields. These are the lands where the sun and moon do not take turns ruling the day and the night. The moon does not exist; there is only day; no sorrow or tears; the whole of the universe sings in adoration of all that is, and ever will be. Ah, but they are just another manifestation of the world in which Annalicia lives; a world in which only she knows the true limitations.

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I hope you enjoyed this sneak preview into The Butterfly Fields which is due to be released this month! Have a wonderful and simple Saturday!