I Can't Adult Today

Summertime was great back home on the shores of Lake Sakajwea. The family – the whole family – sometimes fifty or more at a time would gather down on South Pointe of Parshall Bay, spending the day fishing, swimming, grilling, and roasting marshmallows over campfires when the sun went down.

Time rolled forward and Summer would turn to Fall. It was my favorite time of the year. The town would swarm with kids who had been here or there throughout the summer. The fall evenings would fill the air with the shouts and laughter of children, playing kickball, or a game that the title is no longer politically correct to name, hide and seek in the dark, and so many other games, until the streetlights sent us home. As we got older we would sit wrapped in blankets, star gazing and talking about boys – the ones we liked and the ones we didn’t. We would tell our secrets and pinky swear to never tell a single soul, take it to our graves.

The world turned one day at a time, and the winds of change would bring Old Man Winter across the plains. It was time for sledding on the Rock Museum hill, or snowmobiling on the streets to make the old people mad, trick-or-treating in homemade costumes, and building igloos in the backyard. Halloween would slip quietly away and usher in the Christmas season, requiring our best behavior for the simple gifts we received. The windows of Main Street would become laden with all the finest gifts the stores had to offer. The streetlights would be decked with boughs of holly, stars, or jingle bells. Santa Saturday would come and go, and soon Auld Lang Syne would be on the lips of the older folks as the ball would drop in New York City.

Love would be shared in the classrooms and between lovers at the Redwood Mixer as Valentine’s Day came and went. Shades of pastels would replace the rose red, again requiring our best behavior to entice the favors of a benevolent bunny that came and went each year. Spring arrived with the first sprout of the crocuses on the prairie. Pomp and Circumstance would become the theme, accompanied by the cheers of the graduating class as caps were tossed in the air in celebration of the close of childhood.

Every now and again, we all travel down the familiar roads we traveled as children. For me, as a writer, it’s an integral part of what I do. My memoirs are contained in every story and novel that I write. And yes, sometimes I miss Donna the Kid, those are the days I want to say, “I can’t adult today.”

Have a great week everyone!

The Secret of Authors

When I first began writing, I searched the world over on the best ways and means to write and get published. I frantically scoured the internet for the best tips from the most successful authors out there. I tried to mimic their patterns and thought processes. And then one day, I discovered that all the joy of writing had been sucked out of my passion.

I joined a writers group, only to discover those that were in it didn’t know any more about writing and publication than I did.  We all talked a good talk, but none of us were moving forward. Critiquing became an exercise in each of us telling the others they should change this, that, or the other thing, because ultimately it wasn’t the way we write. A writers group is not a replacement for a good editor. It’s mostly for two purposes: support in a common effort, or brainstorming.

Marketing in itself was taking a huge chunk out of my time. The time I could be spending with my family and friends, or writing. I would spend hours on Hootsuite crafting tweets and Facebook postings, and even some for LinkedIn, and then I realized I was spending more and more of my time marketing and less and less of my time writing.

If I want to be a good writer, or maybe even a great writer, I have to keep at it, every day; 30-minutes minimum - every day. It’s a developed habit. It can be a daunting task at times. Sometimes I sit there staring at the blank screen before me and I just want to cry because nothing comes out. “Write something; anything,” I tell myself. “Write all the chores you have to do today in story form.” Sometimes even that can be a challenge. Writer’s block is a very real thing. Sometimes the words just don’t come. However, I still sit there for 30 minutes, just in case. I have neglected my blog, or at least have seemed to, since August 30^th. The words just wouldn’t come. I assure you, I sat there, every day, for 30 minutes, and nothing.

My cure for writer’s block: I just sit with it for a while. After my 30 minutes of sitting, I go do other things that have nothing to do with writing. It works every time, sometimes it takes days, but it works.

In my quest to become an author, I also tried to write like someone else. This was a bad idea; a very bad idea. When I try to write like someone else, I lose all the flavor of the story I am trying to tell. I stopped doing that. I have to write authentically as myself.

I stopped listening to what the world was telling me about writing. I limited my marketing time – on purpose. I developed a habit of writing, and a cure for what ails writers the most. I developed my own voice. Now I write what pleases me.

Here’s the secret about successful writers. They don’t write for the market. They simply write for the sake of writing. Believe it or not, most of the great writers out there have had a flop of a book. They don’t dwell on it. They don’t drown their sorrows in wine and beer. They get to work, writing a new story. And, that is the true secret to becoming an author.

Holding Out for a Hero - Prairie on Fire

As a person who writes, I learned something that is valuable. The secret to successful writing is emotional intelligence. I know ground-breaking isn't it? The hook for readers is the emotional connection to the characters in the story, not necessarily the story itself.

For example, I am currently working on my new novel, "Prairie on Fire," which takes place in western North Dakota. I wanted to write something fresh and new, and something that is near and dear to my heart, yet a story that can be lived by the readers as well. I knew I had to write what I know.

What I know is this: It is rare in any novel that the hero is a Native American. What many people don't know is that more Native Americans serve in the United States military than all other ethnic groups combined. When Native Americans are portrayed in film or literature, it is the stereotypical Native American from the late 19th and early 20th century. We need a 21st century Native American hero.

The main character, Devin Goes Along the Road, is an army veteran who suffers from PTSD. He tries to live a simple life with his fiance' and her mother. The home that he has known all his life is rift with land grabbing, environmental hazards, and now, there is a new threat. 

In 36 hours, Devin's life will change - forever. Everything he thought he left in the mountains of Afghanistan has surfaced in an explosive chain of events that ignites a fire no one expected, and only Devin can put out. But, only if someone will believe him.

Watch for "Prairie on Fire," coming soon to on-line book retailers.

I'd like to thank my Native American friends on Fort Berthold for their support and consultations of "Prairie on Fire."

Butterfly Phoenix Receives the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

I was honored when my good friend and fellow author, Linda Lee Greene, informed me she was nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger award! I was so blessed! Her novel, Guardians and Other Angels is available in eBook format and print on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Here are seven things about me that will help define who I am, and what I do best.

Seven things about me....

I was born in Boynton Beach, Florida, and moved to my mother's home state of North Dakota when I was a toddler. I was born a blue baby in the late 1960s, and this is where my story is somewhat interesting. My first doctor was a man who had narrowly escaped Cuba before the Bay of Pigs. He just happened to be in Miami and had specialized in a relatively experimental surgery in cardiology for infants.

I am the mother of three beautiful grown daughters, and grandma to two very special grandchildren.

I love culture and world history. Growing up on the Fort Berthold Indian Reservation in western North Dakota immersed in two story-telling cultures, Irish and Native American (Mandan, Hidatsa, and Arikara), gave me the ability to appreciate and accept people for who they are.

I'm supposed to talk about an achievement in my life. However, I view my life itself as an achievement. I could have, and in all likelihood should have, died at birth, but I didn't. I grew up in a time of extreme conflict, fear, and violence and survived - not unscathed, but survived nonetheless. I endured eight years in a loveless relationship as the significant other of a man whose life became consumed by drug abuse and alcoholism. I championed a home to the best of my ability as a single-mother in a relatively conservative state. I graduated college twice while providing for my three daughters. I have overcome many obstacles and challenges in my life, and that is an achievement that cannot be dwarfed by any award or accolade I could ever receive.

I am currently working on "The Chrysalis Series", a fantasy trilogy set in the times of the Gael - although not a historical fiction series. The first book, "The Butterfly Fields," is near ready for release. However, I don't have a set date. The story follows two sisters, Elsie and Annalicia McCormick, as they both find their way through the wilderness of life in the hopes of finding the freedom, safety, and sanity they enjoyed in their youth.

I have my favorite organizations, and as many of my long-time readers know, those organizations are the ones who champion for the unwanted, uncared for, and unloved of the world. Diva Connection is one of those organizations, because they not only champion for women, they empower women of all ages and all walks of life to champion for others. The Jeremiah Program, because they help young single mothers build sustainable successful lives. And my national organization is GEMS, who advocate for and assist young women who are victims of sex and human trafficking. I have been a mentor mother for the Young Mothers Network of Cass and Clay Counties since 2009.

I am not currently serving on any boards or committees. I am a member of the American Legion Auxiliary - Arthur Solie Post, Parshall, North Dakota. I am a member of the International Association of Administrative Professionals. I served as a parent volunteer, and later as the Secretary of the Executive Bethel Council of Bethel 32, Moorhead, Minnesota, of the International Order of Jobs Daughters.

I would like to take this opportunity to nominate some of my friends who are bloggers that I feel have made a positive impact on my life. I hope that you will go visit their blogs and leave a comment. In alphabetical order, they are:

Arlene O'Neil - Although she is not a blogger, she's still very inspiring, so buy her book Broken Spokes, you won't regret it.

Sarah L. Wallace at Cross Roads of Humanity

Wendy and Charles Seifken at Seifken Publications

Blessed are the Children of the Bookworm

Reading was a big deal in our family when I was growing up. It wasn't just reading for the sake of completing book reports at school. It was reading for the simple idea of it. In every household of the family there were stacks of books, all of which had been read by one or more family members. The adult women of the family would share books back and forth, trading their favorite authors like commodities in the grain market. The value of each author would rise and fall with the collective opinion of the readers. The adult men would read their books in solitude and generally keep their opinions to themselves. My grandfather's favorite was Louis L'Amour and other western authors. Both of my uncles are avid readers as well. My cousins, both of my sisters, me, and even my brother read.

I remember my mother read to me and my next oldest sister every chance she had. It is one of my favorite childhood memories. My two favorite stories she had read to us were Stuart Little and The Velveteen Rabbit. My sister and I shared a room across the hall from our mother's room. After all of us kids were in bed, my mom would spend at least a half an hour reading, sometimes longer if the story was particularly good before she went to sleep at night.

Albert Einstein is quoted as "If you want your children to be intelligent read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." Children need to be encouraged to read. Studies show that children who are read to while still in the formative years have an easier time in school, a larger vocabulary, critical thinking skills, and the ability to reason and imagine. Children who are read to and grow into independent readers also become better decision makers as they are not easily persuaded by the opinions of others.

I want to share with you today a few resources on children and reading:

The Pew Report: "Younger Americans' Reading and Library Habits" published in October 2012.

Dolly Parton's Imagination Library: Free books for young children and more. I signed up both of my grandchildren for this program, and they each received a free age appropriate book every month. 

The Global Fund for Children: Books for Kids project. The GFC project donates children's books to community-based literacy programs.

It is my hope in these days of visual entertainment, parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, and all who are involved in the lives of children will pass on the importance of reading the written word to the children of the world; the future of our world.

Merry Koda Christmas: Author Linda Bowers Bolton

Christmas at Linda’s

Christmas is my favorite holiday. Its starts with decorating the weekend after Thanksgiving. No Black Friday sales for me, I hate the crowds. I’d rather put up my tree and take out the Nativity.

Spare time on the weekends are filled with Christmas movies - my favorites are White Christmas and The Holiday. I love the Hallmark Christmas specials too. They really put me in the mood since we don’t get much cold weather here in Texas.

Christmas eve is family day which usually includes adopted family - friends with no family near. I usually cook something from a different culture for the evening meal, German one year, Spanish the next, Italian the year after, etc. Then we watch more Christmas movies and open our gifts at midnight. We take pictures with our gifts then go to bed.

Christmas day is sleeping in and having a yummy brunch of eggs, bacon, hash browns and leftovers! Come join us!

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Take 2

Take 2 is a story of love, loss and loving again. There are travels, roadblocks, and struggles. 

Alexandra Daniels is a forty-something, hard-working mom, wife and employee. Her life has been plodding along at a snails pace and she’s longing for excitement. She wins a trip to her favorite talk show in New York, the Veronica Becker Show, and it just so happens the actor of her dreams is a guest, Derek Dunbar! Is Alex’s life about to change?

Derek Dunbar is Scottish, an actor and a hunk! Every woman in America drools after him. He has his pick of women but stinks at relationships. At forty, is he longing for a more meaningful relationship? Does he even know how to have one? Is he willing to make the effort or will it just be too complicated?

Chapter 1

Alex sat in her chair, her eyes wide, staring at the screen. She loved the Veronica Becker Show and was a faithful viewer. During her lunch hour at work she would rush to the break room to turn it on. Veronica had viewer contests every week.  Alex had never won anything but that didn’t prevent her from signing up each week in hopes, knowing full well the likelihood of winning was minimal at best.

            “Today one lucky viewer will win a trip for two to visit New York and my show.  An all-expense-paid weekend!” announced Veronica Becker, touted as the ‘“Every Woman’s Woman’” by national magazines. 

            Veronica Becker had become a household name, a chef for the everyday woman: quick, inexpensive meals that were tasty, too. Veronica had taken her love of cooking to television and added a bit of fashion, some down to earth chat with the audience, and interviews with the latest stars. She was health conscious and wanted the women in her audience to look their best at any age. She also loved to give things away. Coming from a modest family, she believed in giving back. Generous to a fault, if there was an earthquake somewhere, a typhoon, or tornado, Veronica was there to help out.  

            “Our winner is Alexandra Daniels of Plano, Texas! Congratulations! We’ll be giving Alexandra a call today!”

            Her co-workers were staring at her. Had she really won?

            “Alex! That’s you! You won!” they all shouted.

            “Oh...my...God! I can’t believe it! I won!”

            Alex had the hardest time concentrating the rest of the afternoon. As a customer service rep for a marketing company, she was usually swamped with work but couldn’t concentrate. Two o’clock rolled around and Alex’s cell rang, a number she didn’t recognize.

            “Hello?”

            “Is this Alexandra Daniels?”

            “Yes, it is”

            “Alexandra, this is the Veronica Becker show. I am pleased to tell you that you are the winner of a trip for two to New York City and tickets for the show.”

            “I can’t believe it! Are you sure?” Alex was still in shock. She wanted to make sure there was no mistake. Josh would never believe her.

            “Yes, you’ve won! We will send your tickets out next week. Your trip is for April 15^th to 17th. Can you make it those dates?”

             “Oh yes!  I’ll make it work! Thank you so much!”

 “We’ll get back to you Monday to finalize the details. Have a great weekend!”

            “Oh, I will now!” Alex was amazed! It was true, she actually won! She was already mentally packing when reality hit. Josh would never take off work to go. Maybe Mattie could go with her....no, she had school. She could ask Kathleen, her best friend and co-worker, but they couldn’t take off at the same time. Kathleen was her back up so one of them had to be there. No, she’d have to go alone. Well, it was about time she did something adventurous. This was probably the most exciting thing that had happened to Alex in a very long time.

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 Take 2 is Linda Bolton’s first release due out  December 29 in ebook on Amazon. When she’s not writing she is a new GiGi, playing with her new granddaughter Z, working full-time and writing. While working on a future projects Linda can be found:

On Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/lindaboltonauthor

On Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/#!/lindalou42 

Her romance blog at http://www.lindabolton.blogspot.com

Thank you, Linda for sharing your Christmas with us, and also a sneak peek at your new novel, Take 2. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Merry Koda Christmas: Author RaeAnn Hadley

What I Love About Christmas

            There are so many things that I love about Christmas that bring forth the warm fuzzy feelings and moment of believing that everything is right with the world.

            My first and foremost happiness is that people tend to be a little gentler with each other and go out of their way to help others. My daughter’s expression is to “fill someone’s bucket” so that they feel good about themselves. Such a profound statement from someone who’s earthly body is only 8 tender years old. Because of this we try to fill someone’s bucket every day. Not everyone else thinks to do this every day or even every month with life’s busy schedule but around Christmas people seem to remember and offer that courtesy. I am hopeful that maybe some of them realize how great it feels and start to do it more often throughout the year.

            The second thing I love SO much about Christmas is being able to be a child again. Being the mother of two young girls, I’m transported back to my magical and whimsical holiday seasons where Santa was watching my every move and elves were busy making my perfect gift. The smell of cookies filled the house daily, hot chocolate was always ready when chilly hands and tummies needed warming and the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree filled me with excitement and anticipation. My husband and I are both child-like during the holidays and enjoy creating the fantastic, magical world that offers a special time and place in the hearts of our young. We bake our cookies, decorate our tree, make our snowmen and revel in the fact that we are healthy, blessed and together as a family.

            The third thing that I love so much is being able to share within our community. Our girls donate their time in the retirement homes where they read to the elderly, sing to them and bring them cards. We also become a Secret Santa to a family in need and buy a large amount of food items that we drop off, ringing the bell and running away before the intended family can see who it was. Granted, we like to anonymously donate throughout the year but there is something special about surprising a family at Christmas time and being able to bring them closer to the magical realm that I had growing up as a child.

            I have so many more things that I love about this time of year but I will end it here and leave you with this thought. We all know how wonderful it feels to receive, whether it is gifts, a compliment, love or support. Imagine how greater that feeling is when we fill someone else’s bucket. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and remember, life is meant to be fun; enjoy the journey.

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RaeAnne Hadley: RaeAnne is an author from Craig, CO, USA. RaeAnne writes mystery and paranormal romance. Her works include, Mechanics of Murder (2004), WithLove; Now & Forever (2011), - From outward appearances, Anastasia Cassadine has the perfect life; a very successful company and handsome men vying to be her companion. But the appearance she projects is terribly misleading. Ana is haunted by a dark secret from her past, one that involved her first love, Austin Troy. Shadows (2011), and Love’s Everlasting Song (Dec. 2011) - The physical attraction between the two is immediate but Rebecca struggles with her pending divorce and need to be successful in her career. As Rebecca begins to open her heart and believe in her future, her past won't leave her alone and threatens to destroy everything she has worked for. Can she fight to put her past to rest and begin a new life or will this be her swan song?

Thank you RaeAnne for sharing with us today! It seems your kind and generous heart will be a tradition handed down for many generations. Merry Christmas!

Merry Koda Christmas: Author, Arlene R. O'Neil

Christmas Memories-Precious Love

What we experience in the past is either brought forward with us in life or banished and forgotten. It is the memories of previous Christmases that I love now. Those years when I was a child, when my son was a child, his first Christmas and those that followed, are what I now hold dear to my heart. Times and circumstances have changed, yet every year I pull out the memories of Christmases Past.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were always filed with family, food, presents, music, laughter, and relatives. Those two days of the year were amazing, a time when everything came to life! Prior to the actual event, Dad would string the lights outside, in the snow and ice, perched precariously on a ladder, while Mom made cookies and hot chocolate. Excitement built as Christmas Eve arrived.

Those memories can be called to mind quickly for me, and then blended with the first Christmas Eve at my house after my only son Tanner, was born. I carried on the traditions set forth by my parents, of a tree surrounded by presents, of tables filled with food, and of carols bursting forth from the stereo. My house was abundant with love. My living room overflowed with a tree way too full and much too tall! One year I bought my tree late and all that was available on the lot were the frozen ones - still tied with bale twine. I stood one up. In comparison to the sky, I thought, “Yes…this will fit nicely in the living room.” Lo and behold I ended up with a tree like the Griswold’s in “Christmas Vacation!” Lop a little off the bottom, a little more off the top, and after a few hours it stood nicely in its stand, nailed to the floor. It wasn’t however, until it thawed and grew from the living room into the dining room that I realized I needed to shop for a lot more ornaments!

Then of course there were the years when Christmas dinner took on an entirely new meaning. I had my husband’s family as well as my own for a sit-down dinner at 1 o’clock for about 30-35 people. There were a few friends who had nowhere to go and were invited also, which made the count vary from holiday to holiday, so I always made more food than I first planned. As the years passed away so did some of the guests, and I found it difficult to cook for only eight or ten people. Thus the “drop in” holidays were born. I still had the traditional family dinner, but now it was followed by a full buffet for my son’s friends, from 5 o’clock until whenever. Teenagers would drop by, eat, play Nintendo, watch TV, or just hang out. This tradition lasted until my son joined the Army. Then life took a drastic change.

Alone… my first Christmas without my son. My husband had passed years ago, and while those years were difficult, somehow as long as Tanner and I were together, we were strong. Now my son would be in the desert for Christmas wearing Camouflage instead of Dr. Dentons.  This is a point where memories collide – the good with the bad. It must have been the end of November when reality actually set in. My son would be in a war zone and there was nothing I could do…or was there?

There were 189 Soldiers in Tanner’s unit and I set out to make certain that each had at least one gift to unwrap Christmas morning. This was the start of “Operation Tanner Claus.” By sending a few emails, putting a box at the local coffee shop, and a lot of help from online friends, I managed to collect over 600 gifts for the troops! There were Christmas trees and lights, toys and candies, cookies and energy bars! All were shipped to Iraq by December 10th and arrived in time for the holiday!  A few years later, “Operation Tanner Claus” would be reborn and sent to Afghanistan, this time with over 1,000 presents – each tagged “Thank you, Soldier!” The joy of having friends over for a “wrapping” party every Sunday, of sharing pizza and soda while listening to Christmas music, of packing the car filled with boxes for the post office, are the memories I have now of Christmases past. This year, the first one in seven years, I will meet my son in Connecticut during the holidays. Unfortunately it won’t be until a few days after the actual day of Christmas, but I will hold on tight to my memories until I arrive and make new ones!

Holidays are hard especially when you are alone. You don’t want to go to parties just in case you get emotional, and of course, you don’t want to put a damper on anyone else’s good time. You don’t really want to stay home either, for you fear the walls will begin to close in around you. Last year as well as this year, I will spend the days with my animals – my five pet goats and two Labradors.  I will also be online, talking to others who are alone. The afternoon of Christmas Eve I will chill a pound of shrimp and cocktail sauce and make a huge antipasto, a tradition I started last year. The dogs and goats will receive their share and will open their presents – a fresh square bale of hay for the goats, and new toys for the dogs. Christmas Day will be spent much the same way, adding in a quick dinner with some friends. Then I will come home to relive the memories of the past as I curl up in bed with my Labradors, Holly and Bruno, and watch Christmas movies.

I look forward to seeing my family a few days after Christmas, but until then I have a lifetime of glowing memories to relive!

Arlene R. O’Neil

All Rights Reserved

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 Biography of Arlene R. O’Neil:

“Writing is what lights me up,” states Arlene R. O’Neil. “Being a visual writer, I love seeing my work come to life: to take the reader with me on a journey word by word: to touch a reader whether through laughter or tears.” Her current book, “Broken Spokes,” refers to broken bones, broken bike, and broken spirit. It speaks to the reader of determination, of survival, of inspiration.

Born and raised in Connecticut, Mrs. O’Neil moved to South Carolina to work on her second novel, which will relate the roller coaster life of being the parent of a Soldier on active duty. O’Neil says, “My son, SGT Tanner O’Neil, is a member of the United States Army and the joy, pride, and love of my life. After five tours of duty to active war zones, I feel the need to share my experience with other parents in hope of lessening their fears.” SGT O'Neil has just recently returned from his 5th tour.

Currently Arlene lives with her two Labradors, Holly and Bruno, and her adorable pet goats, Paxton, JaeJay, Rupert, Patches, and Frosty. “These amazing characters have helped me through some incredibly difficult times and I love them dearly.”

Aside from writing, supporting her son while deployed, and caring for her animals, Arlene recently moved into her new home where she has three acres of land for her and her beloved animals to enjoy.

An author, editor and proofreader, Arlene R. O’Neil may be contacted at arleneoneil@aol.com

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Thank you, Arlene for sharing your very personal thoughts and memories of Christmas. I, and I'm sure the Butterfly Phoenix readers, would like to send a personal note of thanks and gratitude to your son and his fellow soldiers for their service. THANK YOU and Merry Christmas. May you be safe, warm, and loved this holiday season.

Merry Koda Christmas: Author, DeEtte Beckstead

What I Love About Christmas

When I read the theme, I thought “Gee, I haven’t written an essay for school in… well, decades!” I decided to approach it as such and see what happened.

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the music, the specials on television.  I love how people seem to cheer up during the season. I’m one who loves a white Christmas. I love to go to Dickens festivals or, as is the case this year, Mystic Village. It’s a time when I can slip into a fantasy world of love and cheer, even when circumstances that bombard me are of a different opinion. It’s a time when seeing people in costumes of other times, even if they weren’t easier, still have an appeal toward that simpler life ideal.

I love the traditions. I love decorating the Christmas tree. Years ago, I used to spend hours wrapping the strings of lights meticulously around the branches to be sure the lights were evenly distributed and the wires wouldn’t interfere with the ornaments. The most cherished ornament is a glass bell that was on my mother’s first Christmas tree in 1915. In three years, it will be a hundred years old. It goes near the top of the tree to protect it from inquisitive little hands (and dogs and cats). Our family tradition was that the ornament stayed on the tree as long as the kids got along. If they fought with one another, the bell would come off the tree. There was one year it did come off. I don’t think they will ever forget that. This year, the bell will be visiting the tree at my son’s, where I will be celebrating.

Other traditions I love:

·         Eggnog 

·         Musical oranges made by pushing a candy cane into an orange and sucking till the juice comes through the candy.

·         Our traditional family hot cocoa made with evaporated milk (this also appears in my novel Victory)

·         Going to the Nutcracker with my grandson. We missed it last year, and will again this year (I am 2000 miles away this year). Maybe I will be able to take him again soon…

·         Watching It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, and Miracle on 34^th Street

·         Celebrating St. Nicholas Day on December 5^th

·         Going out for a Christmas light tour somewhere in the city

·         Midnight church services

Judging from my list, it’s easy to see I love spending time with family and friends. I love all the warmth and fun that comes from baking and decorating cookies with my grandchildren, watching their sparkling eyes and beautiful smiles as we create something special together.

I love to make gifts for my family. It doesn’t matter if they would win prizes; it matters because there is love built into it.

When my children were small, my father-in-law had lots of money, especially compared to my own dad. Their paternal grandfather spent way more than was necessary on the kids (he wanted to), but my dad, who was retired and didn’t have much money, spent hours in his workshop, sawing, gluing, nailing, painting. He made wooden cars and animals, rocking horses, cupboards, nightstands and rocking chairs. The monetary investment was small, but those handmade gifts were the items my now-grown children still treasure.  Some have even been passed down to the next generation. They knew Grandpa Beckstead had built love into them. Yes, their other grandparents loved them, and had taken time to buy something for them. They appreciated that and love them for it. But those small pieces of painted wood were extra special! The love was tangible; they were like hugs from their beloved grandpa. Now that he is gone, they treasure those items even more.

I love seeing my children giving from their hearts: their talents, their time. If there is one thing I did right as a mother, it was to teach my children that “building love into” a gift makes it so much more than what it appears on the outside. Even if it is a purchased gift, I know my kids take time to really think about the person the gift is for. When I crochet a doll or stuffed animal for one of my grandkids, I pray over it, asking God to bless the child who will love it. Gifts to me? I prefer drawings from my grandchildren to paintings by the Masters. I would rather have a macaroni necklace made by a 3 year old than diamonds; a tissue paper flower than a dozen long-stemmed roses.

But the thing I think I love most about Christmas is that it is the time of year we remember God’s most wondrous gift to us: Jesus. It doesn’t matter if we have the right date or not. What matters is that we celebrate and thank God for His love. A quote from my book Victory sums up my feelings: 

I am not going to let one man, or even a group of men, stop me from celebrating the birth of Jesus. If I have to do it alone, I will. But no matter what label man puts on it, or whether or not this is the ‘right’ date, this season is still when we Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Savior. He is always faithful to us, and wants us to be faithful to Him. He wants us to trust Him and be full of faith.

That means I will celebrate Him. No one can stop me. It’s truly my God-given right. If others want to share the joy of Christmas, all the better. But with or without others, there will be joy in my heart and I will celebrate the birth of my Lord!

And with that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

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DeEtte Beckstead Anderton: DeEtte is an author from Salt Lake City, UT, USA. DeEtte’s first work, The Christmas Visitors, was published November 25, 2012; and her first novel, Victory, - Victory, a town where the people love their country and their neighbors, but what happens when two visitors come to town? One comes with fear and control, slowly taking away the freedoms the people love. The other comes with faith. When darkness overtakes the town who will have Victory? - was just released on Friday, December 7, 2012. 

Thank you, DeEtte for sharing your thoughts on, and memories of, Christmas!!!

Merry Koda Christmas: Author, Roxane B. Salonen

What I love about Christmas:

“Waiting in Joyful Hope”

Roxane B. Salonen, Fargo, ND

What I love most about Christmas happens well before Dec. 25.

Let me explain. The other day I visited the online calendar of the parochial school my youngest sons attend, and was met with these words: “Waiting in Joyful Hope.”

Those four words exemplify what I love about Christmas.

When I was young, Christmas often was about accumulating as many presents as possible. My sister and I would have contests to see who had the most gifts under the tree. Who would be the victor?

But even as we played this little game, I have to believe we felt the shallowness of it all. I have reflected back on this empty endeavor many times through the years while contemplating what Christmas really means.

To be fair, back then I was caught up in the consumerism of the season like everyone else I knew. But over time, I’ve become more mindful of the most treasured gift for which we await this time each year.

What could be a better present than that of unconditional love; the kind of love we can only receive in full from the one who is God, the one who loved us into being?

Now in my post-greed days, my Christmas season tends to builds slowly leading up to Dec. 25 and reaching a crescendo at Christmas Eve Mass, when I am reminded, anew, of the most important gift of all. And because I’ve trained myself to peek behind the flashing lights to discover that deeper meaning, I hold on to Christmas as long as possible. After all, is there any reason to let go of hope? Do we really need to toss it out like yesterday’s Christmas tree on Dec. 26?

Even as we succumb to the exorbitant measures our culture pushes pre-Christmas in order to reach its financial goals, I really believe that underlying all of that, every human heart understands on some level that there’s something more.

The child who has become greedy through commercials and ads promising material things can fulfill understands at bottom that the pleasure of receiving a new toy is fleeting.

I don’t want to belittle the joy of wrapping a gift and giving it to a loved one or someone in need. But in the end, what we all long for the very most – each and every one of us – is what I mentioned at the start: unconditional love.

Christmas, to me, is the promise of that, both in the build-up and lead-in and follow-through. It was never meant to be one big event that ends in an anticlimactic thud. Rather, it is a waiting, in joyful hope, for something that is coming. The moment our hearts grasp this, they will have no choice but to leap for joy!

No matter the excess of glitz and glitter that sometimes falsely presents this hope, I believe every human heart can grasp the loveliness of the joy of hopeful expectation.

This is what keeps Christmas in our hearts after the snow melts. It is what keeps us living and loving into January and beyond.

God bless your Advent and Merry Christmas to All!

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Roxane Salonen has been my friend for several years. She is the author of  P is for Peace Garden, and First Salmon, both great children's books. In addition to her writing, Roxane is a wife and the mother of five beautiful children. She never ceases to amaze me in her courage and conviction in all that she does.  Thank you, Roxane, for sharing your thoughts on Christmas with us today!