For as long as I can remember, I have been an incurable introvert, not that we introverts need to be cured. It is our nature to keep most of our thoughts and feelings to ourselves.
We spend a great deal of our time in deep contemplation of the events that are presently occurring, or reflecting on events that have happened over the course of time. It's not always a bad thing. In fact, most of the time, people like me are contemplating and reflecting in an effort to ensure a better future.
Sometimes, not always, we get stuck in the dwelling rut. Whether the event was positive or negative, we have an incredible ability to dwell on them. Why? Because it is in our nature to keep most of our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. The most wonderful, or horrific, event can happen, and those around us will most likely never know the true depths of the impact. Sometimes, we don't even know ourselves.
Those who have ever sat in a meeting with me would be, at this point, wondering of whom I am speaking. They never would have guessed I am an introverted person. However, there have been those meetings where I have sat quietly listening, taking in all the information, never uttering a single word. After the meeting, I would take the information back to my office with me, to begin the process of formulating an opinion. I like to think about things, process them in my mind, weighing both sides, finally coming to some sort of conclusion.
Then, there are times when events take a twisted turn, which we never anticipated. In all our contemplations and reflectings, we have an ability to keep the impacts of earlier events brewing just under the surface, yet never allowing them to see the light of day. If the unanticipated turn of events is on the negative side, which most often they are, all these impacts start colliding and combining with the present event and things start to fall apart; quickly.
We find ourselves in times of doubt, especially self-doubt, and paralyzed in the fear the past events may occur once again, spinning life completely out of control. Introverted people are somewhat of control freaks. We always like to be in control of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. We all have our different reasons, or rationale, for our freakish controlling behavior, but in the end we are who we are.
When things spin out of control, we really only have two options: 1.) regain control on our own, or 2.) reach out to those whom we feel have the greatest ability to help in the situation. Option number one does not always bring the expected or desired result, leaving us with option number two, which is a huge step for us introverts.
We are the natural boot-strappers of society. Sharing our problems, issues, or past regrets with others is the most terrifying act, taking weeks or longer to come to this resolve. The greatest fear, in the midst of our terror, is the idea the person, to whom we reach out, will take the position of judge, jury and executioner; versus the helpful listener. We have all, introverted or not, experienced this situation. It is not the most pleasant position to be in for anyone. We rationalize to ourselves that it will all work itself out and we do not need to take that risk. The risk being exposing the brewings under the surface, to resolve the current problem.
Still waters run deep. The ripple affect of a single stone thrown in those waters can amplify to unimaginable depths. We introverts tread lightly on unknown waters, because we know the devestating effects muddying the waters can have; not only on that person, but ourselves as well.